Wednesday, February 07, 2007
I have to admit the last day of the whole wake is the worse day to go through.
Not only was the rituals tedious, but you know that after today, Ah Mah only leaves in our own memories.
I am not recovered as yet, crying occasionally when i think of her.
I haven been a filial grandaughter. But her presence did impacted my life in many many ways.
I managed to do my last bit for Ah Mah, to make her look pretty on her final journey. Even though i was uber tired, and uber short of time, i still managed to complete it on time. Many thanks to those who helped.
Didn't expect Ah Mah will leave this world at this time, and i still wanted her to live many more years.
It felt very bad, when they had to close up the coffin, i could no longer look at Ah Mah sleep peacefully, its even worse when i saw her body being pushed into the furnance. Gone forever.
After the event, on the way to the temple, i was thinking, about after life, will the dead feel fiery furnance burning fiecely? I was wondering if Ah Mah will feel at home with her "new" place. I was wondering if she will get used to not having Nancy by her side.
Nancy was the next poor soul, no other maid on this earth can be compared to her. She gave her best til Ah Mah's very last breath. She was still strong thoughout the wake, still able to make jokes, and talk about the rest of my aunties and uncles having unresolved issues and havin quarrels here and there.
She broke down when she saw Ah Mah being pushed into the furnance. I caught her sitting alone after that dazing, there was nothing much i could do, but to walk over, gave her a pat on her shoulders and cry together with her.
Ah Mah is going to be buried together with her handsome husband, my Ah Gong.
I am still not used to not having Ah Mah around,
12:44 am
