Friday, September 29, 2006

I think i am losing my patience.

Is like a vivicous routine, piss, angry, piss, angry, piss, angry, piss, angry....................

Assuming? I am even losing my patience at this stage.

Just go and do whatever you want la, don't tell me one thing and do another, especially when you know this is a bloody sensitive period.

Just take me as if i am dead. I wish i am though.

10:16 pm

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

My eye bags have been getting really bad.

But i sleep alot leh. Some pointed out that i may be getting bad sleep that's why. Which actually, i think so as well. I could sleep for 8 hrs, wake up and still feeling tired.

I need good sleep.

11:14 pm

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

" I won't see you if you didn't want to see me...so you want to see me?"

- I didn't answer, cos i realise the missing puzzle hurts.

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I hasn't cried that much since God knows when.

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Time for a reservoir walk, look at the peaceful waters and think.

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How am i going to move out from this place? The reservoir holds too much memories.

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The friend that was with me at the reservoir, who saw me cried buckets of water, eyes swollen, hands swollen, totally shaken is no longer here for me.

1:00 am

Monday, September 25, 2006

I still can't convince myself.

I can accept things as it is now, stay together..but on one condition, that you no longer stay commited to me. If you find a better, more worthy, less demanding lady, please go ahead. I will be happy for you.

I am someone who has an ego like a man, whose confidence can go up or down based on other people's comment.

I admit i am never a good girlfriend. They are right as well, i am not worthy for you.

Attributes to the people around. Who mouth about me based on what they see. I do discover who i really am based on what i hear. They are right.

I am not a good person. Stop wasting your time on me.

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Let me apologise for future weird behaviours that may come from me. I have once again hit the lowest possible pit. All confused. Self questioning.

梦真的醒了

5:00 am

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Utterly disappointed.

Utterly disappointed.

Utterly disappointed.

Utterly disappointed.

Utterly disappointed.

9:10 pm

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

曾经拥有，也是一种天长地久。。

Good phrase...I like.

9:54 pm

Had a relaxing day today. Although i was suppose to clean up my room which apparently i didn't. Took a dive out because i know the more i stay inside the 4 walls, the more i am going to think things up on my pea brain.

Well, nontheless, i had a good one outside. Went out to East Coast Park alone, sat down at Coffeebean's with my favourite Caesar's Salad and a cuppa of coffee. Pluck my favourite mp3 into my ears and enjoy the sea breeze.

Had a book on my hand, Mitch Albom's "The five people you meeting in Heaven". Quite a good and interesting read. Have not finish yet, will talk about it more once i am done.

Shall cultivate back the habit of reading. I realise i have alot of books which i have yet to touch, or halfway there. Is the working life that has changed me alittle.

Is good to read, improves your writing as well. Which is why i never wanted to give up on blogging, as it is a way of writing as well. I mean, i hardly write when i am in office. Never get to pen my thoughts down somewhere when i am back in office.

My aunt from US is back for a short holiday. Its been a while since i last saw her. Its always a good feeling because everytime she's back, the whole clan will come together and organise stuff. Haven seen my relatives in awhile.

Learnt about the breaking news about Thailand. Was even thinking of going to thailand. And this have to happen. But i was just thinking, its only the army that overthrew the goverment right? Should be quite ok to go shopping there as business is still as usual? Would the air tickets be even cheaper?

Is back to office tomorrow, after quite a break. Is going to be a busy Saturday as i have to rush to alot of places after i knock off.

Damn! When i am damn bloody free, nothing comes up. And when i am totally drained from work, everybody is keen on meeting up.

Will we meet again next week?

9:27 pm

This off shift has been pretty boring. Nothing much...but i have been catching up on my sleep, so much so that i feel tired all over again!! Hahaha!!

Bad move. Bad move. I shouldn't have said it out. Things seems to wind down alot recently.

Pea brain loaded with lots of thoughts, emotions running....this is tormenting

Mr bigBig got himself a good job, with a good pay. I'm happy. Happy for him.

Just caught "陶色蛋白质", heard 袁惟仁 sang "梦醒了". How i wish i could be half as talented as him. Wrote the song in less then an hour. Was so touched when he sang this song himself. Felt it was somehow a messge sent to me.

Thought about my passion for many things. Do i still have the talent? Or is all these just a facade? Yeah, i admit i have to wake up from whatever dreams that i am having now. They anin't going to be real. Nobody is going to make them real anyway. Faithy got to be strong!!!

12:54 am

Monday, September 18, 2006

Off from now till wednesday. Only need to go back office on thurday. So whose gonna date me out? Gimme a call yeah?

Damn, wanted to take a super long break without utilising my entire Annual Leave before i go back to normal shift. But, looks like it will not happen to me. Why issit that everytime, i tried applying for AL, it seems like i can't. Now i have to wait till 2nd week of Nov before i can clear my leave.

I forgot to add in my past few posts that i am addicted to this mint called "Eclipse". I have to have it everyday!!

I forgot to add also, that i am in love with F.I.R. Just love to listen to them, and this new album is definitely worth the buy!!

I forgot to say thanks to Ange. Thanks for calling up just to ask me how am i. I am still pretty much alive, hitting some low pits as usual. But i'll be fine. *hugs*

KTV anyone?
p.s: but i am not singing. Just love sitting there to watch the MTVs....

1:35 am

Friday, September 15, 2006

Worked from 6am-8.15pm today. A whopping 14hrs and 15 mins!!!

Damn, seems like friday is cursed for OT!!

I have not gotten a chance to enjoy the phrase "TGIF".

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Felt like the whole thing is drifting apart. Something went wrong somewhere?

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My eyes are tired, my voice has turn husky.

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Breakfast tomorrow, anyone?

10:08 pm

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

How can things go back to normal when they are obviously not normal anymore. You've touched her face, slept in her arms. And everything including the distance is back the following day? Whats the matter with you??? She didn't asked for anything in the first place right? At least there is someone as a companion for you when u are lonely. She's not your typical girl-next-door either.

I'm sure she's pretty sure of whats she's going after.

Call me a badass if you want, =p

My card is here, damn i have to send it in for activation before i can use it. And it takes 7 days long!! *&&**##$$!!

I am feeling sleepy by the day and energetic by the night, what the hell is wrong with me??

There is so many things going through my mind...pea brain is still pea brain, cannot take any more things. I am suffocating!!!

I'm still a useless piece of shit!!!

2:40 pm

Sunday, September 10, 2006

I am down on my luck recently? Probably...

Its so damn depressing. Think its gonna take me some time....

Wanna share a song:

Popeye the sailorman *pu pu*
He lives in a frying pan *pu pu*
You turn up the gas
and it blows up his ass
His Popeye the sailorman! *pu pu*

11:36 pm

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Out!

Everybody shout: "Faithy, 你没有用！！"

I'm never good at anything...

9:47 pm

Thursday, September 07, 2006

I'm Ill....remember!! NOT SICK!!!

Can anyone imagine having gastric and stomach cramps all together? NEVER will u want to go through that man!! NEVER!! The doctor look at me..."Ah girl ar...must take care of yourself ar...!!!!"

Shit!! target for next month --> no MCs!! Dunnoe if i can make it...I think why i fall sick easily is because the specialist found one of my antibodies to be abnormal. But i dunnoe does that link...must ask more when i see her again at the end of the month.

Went for a movie on tuesday with my good neighbour. "黑白道" not too bad, but not my cup of tea, especially when u have watched "无间道", any show similiar is like a big copy!!

"我只想做个好警察！！" suddenly sound so familiar!! Too trying!!! But it does worth only your $7 if you have nothing to watch.

Having cough now...still got alot of things going through my pea brain. Damn, i think certains aspects of my life have changed.

Change, change, change. The only constant in life.

I am afraid i will change into someone that i couldn't even recognise.

Don't scold me, i just bought 3 pairs of heels.

10:33 pm

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Been getting on track with all the cantonese songs recently. Not true actually, i have always been..but recently have been more "adventurous" with my selection.

Heard this song (currently playing) when i was watching " 酒店风云”. Was sung by a guy though. But i found the female version and i fell in love with it. HAHAHA!!

Gonna share with you guys....


Enjoy!!

Still got so many things up my pea brain...Damn!!

My friend is getting married this weekend. So happy for him. I got something up this weekend too...

12:55 am

Sunday, September 03, 2006

jade2
–noun
1. a worn-out, broken-down, worthless, or vicious horse.
2. a disreputable or ill-tempered woman. –verb (used with object), verb (used without object)
3.to make or become dull, worn-out, or weary, as from overwork or overuse.

I am exactly like point number 3.

Super long hours consecutively. I thought i could have a peaceful Sunday. Nontheless, the system still went down, and i was caught unware with cases that are weird enough to make my hair even more grey.

Seems like i have been complaining non stop. I think i am going through a change. Don't understand why also. Alot of thoughts going through my pea brain again. Things are suppose to happen didn't happen. My mind is wondering off as and when..Tired and torturing.

Of cos there are still sweet friends around showing support if you know who you are.

My god! Xinyu and Yan is enjoying themselves in Aussie, here i am stuck in Singapore.

I may go bangkok next month, all by myself. Planning to go even no one is interested. Anyone? Let me know? I need to get out of here!!!!

HELP!!!

6:55 pm

Welcome!

there's nothing wrong with my name.
If you think you know me, read my blog and think again.
I'm imperfect and I'm Lovin' It.
I'm the only witness and the only person who can judge my life.
This is my blog so..then that is just too bad.

It's Me

I love flowers.
I love pink.
I'm stubborn and messy; absolutely lazy.
I mahjong till dawn,
I shop till dusk.
That's coz...
I'm who i AM.
And a beautifully FAT one too.

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