Thursday, September 22, 2005
I am not sure what i have done to deserve all these. Things aren't looking good in every aspect. Results coming and i got a bad feeling. Don't even know what my future holds. And i have a deep regret for not studying hard enough for my O's.
"Eh fuck dun use caps" came as a very very rude and crude shock to me. If you din meant to say this sentence. I didn't mean to use caps too. But was it hurting as how these 5 words has done to me? I was just playing around. You say you didn't spend a single say at home. But the truth is you did. I was just trying to ask you in a "WHAT? IF YOU AREN'T AT HOME YESTERDAY THEN WHERE DID YOU GO?" manner. The fact being i knew you were at home all along, and here u are telling me you didn't, so i was just trying to help you remember what you did yesterday? Sorry then, if this is what you are looking for. I didn't know using CAPS would cause such a stir. To me it anin't a big issue. I have friends who type in CAPS to me, and i knew exactly what they were trying to mean and i didn't think it was rude.
The fact that saddens me and make me cry was that i deserve such a word from your mouth. Just a mere 3 sentences in CAPS. I thot we were close enough for you to understand what i was trying to say. If it will to be others i wouldn't mind. All but you.
Sorry peeps. This may be a small matter. Stupid quarrel over the usage of CAPS and a 4 letter word. But it was rude enough for me to boil and cry at the same time. Insecurities maybe. But i guess you wouldn't use it on any other girls either. Probably we have been complacent.
I am still brewing over the fact that you and her are toking behind my back. I guess i am the petty girl here huh? I have decided to stop thinking about the matter and hope you do understand what i was trying to say. Let me apologise to you for being a conservative woman. I grew up in a conservative society. I have my conservative morals and issues. I still do think, keeping a physical distance is inevitable. This is not like you are single, where you can do and be physically close to any girl you want. You do have a girlfriend. And i would want to apologise again that i am sorry to say that your girlfriend happen to be the petty and oh-so-conservative me. And if you should understand, you should respect the fact that i am your girlfriend and i do have things that i do like to see when its presented infront of my face. Let i say, maybe i should go take a photo with a guy, stick face to face with him and snap! And if you like the idea of it. I have nothing to say. And if you feel nothing when you see it then i have nothing to say. In fact i do not think i am very conservative. I am considered very open already. I just don't like to see that physical compound being violated. There is a certain degree of closeness you share with the one you love, and with your friends. It is different.
Probably morals and values are different. If this ain't working out, think its time for some talking work to be done and some things to reconsider. Come to think for the fact that you talk about me and it make you seems like you have gotten yourself into some deep shit and you have no choice but to humour this shit becos you have chosen this shit. I don't like the idea. If its difficult, we can talk about it. I am easy.
1:10 am
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Took this from qingy's blog. Very true wor....here's my results:
You are tired of the various 'ups' and 'downs' of life at this time. If only you could win a lottery - or better still, be the heir to a large inheritance which would allow you to afford a life of absolute luxury. This day dreaming will shortly pass and whether you like it or not, sooner or later you will have to face reality.
Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people - but try to stay out of the limelight. You'd like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat and someone who understands you is so important in your life.
Matters are not progressing as well as you would have hoped and you are having to make concessions - but you still believe that your goals are realistic it's just that people can't seem to see your point of view. You know what you want but you'll only accept suggestions under duress.
Your ability to withstand the pressures of everyday life have been overtaxed and this is leading to stress and frustrations. It would seem that for the time being you have lost the resilience and strength of will necessary to contend with existing difficulties. You feel that it is all 'too much' and, try as you may, you are getting nowhere. But to give you credit, you continue to stand your ground and pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity. Naturally this situation is subjecting you to intolerable stress and pressure from which you would dearly like to escape, but you can not bring yourself to make the necessary decision. As a result you remain firmly involved in the problem and you can neither view it objectively nor get rid of it - you cannot leave it alone and you feel that you will only be at peace when you have reached your objective.
You are putting on a show - a facade. You are a master of demonstrating considerable charm in the hope that this can or will lead to better things. Deep down you are fearful that this may not work and that you may have to employ other strategies in order to realize all your ambitions.
http://www.colorgenics.com/sps/index.cfm
1:13 pm
Monday, September 19, 2005
(view in unicode)
今天我去见了一位我好久没见的人，好久没和他聊天了. 感觉有点奇怪, 我的第一句话竟是.................
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
嗨！好久不见，你还好吗？
3:39 am
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Finally, everything is over. Technically. The results is not out yet. And i wonder if i ever get the chance to pass the semester without any worries.
Have been trying to relax as much as i can. But it seems like it is not working at all. I seem to be even more tired than i was while i was preparing for the exams. Wat's happening?
I went to watch "Be With Me". It is such a great show. I was so touch by the movie that i cried throughout. But prolly might be due to the fact that i am very emotional by nature. "Longest Yard" is a very good movie too. I laugh till my jaw drop.
There is something that i have clearly been looking forward to. That is to have a lovey dovey two person world with my dada, and spent quality time with him. LIke take 2 to 3 days out and just spent time and do things together. But it seems like he is so busy and the medical centre is refusing to let him take off. I really feel like taking a break and go somewhere just relax and not think about anything anymore. But looks like my hopes wun be able to fullfill anytime soon. And the only holiday that i can look forward to is dada's birthday.
Suddebnly just felt like is very hard to breathe everywhere i go. I seem to be carrying this heavy burden. WHich i totally had no idea what it is.
Gotta write out a plan on the places that i would like to visit. So i can slowly tick off the list.
1:00 pm
Thursday, September 01, 2005
I dunnoe what got over me. Probably still the anxiety of the exams. I am finding myself shifting furnitures up and down the whole house, cleaning up my room in the middle of the night, cooking (yes cooking!!), and worst of all, waking up every 2-3 hrs of sleep thinking i still haave tons to do. What's happening to me??? I look like a ghost now.
SOmething i forgot to say yesterday. Dada brought home-cooked chicken rice over to my house just so that i can have a good dinner!! Complete with grass jelly as dessert! THanks to dada's mom and of cos my beloved who purposely bring the dinner from marine crescent to bedok reservoir. I am so touched! And i felt the so warmth!
Everybody say "awww........."
Is time to hit back to my books. Bye
12:45 am
