Thursday, September 22, 2005
I am not sure what i have done to deserve all these. Things aren't looking good in every aspect. Results coming and i got a bad feeling. Don't even know what my future holds. And i have a deep regret for not studying hard enough for my O's.
"Eh fuck dun use caps" came as a very very rude and crude shock to me. If you din meant to say this sentence. I didn't mean to use caps too. But was it hurting as how these 5 words has done to me? I was just playing around. You say you didn't spend a single say at home. But the truth is you did. I was just trying to ask you in a "WHAT? IF YOU AREN'T AT HOME YESTERDAY THEN WHERE DID YOU GO?" manner. The fact being i knew you were at home all along, and here u are telling me you didn't, so i was just trying to help you remember what you did yesterday? Sorry then, if this is what you are looking for. I didn't know using CAPS would cause such a stir. To me it anin't a big issue. I have friends who type in CAPS to me, and i knew exactly what they were trying to mean and i didn't think it was rude.
The fact that saddens me and make me cry was that i deserve such a word from your mouth. Just a mere 3 sentences in CAPS. I thot we were close enough for you to understand what i was trying to say. If it will to be others i wouldn't mind. All but you.
Sorry peeps. This may be a small matter. Stupid quarrel over the usage of CAPS and a 4 letter word. But it was rude enough for me to boil and cry at the same time. Insecurities maybe. But i guess you wouldn't use it on any other girls either. Probably we have been complacent.
I am still brewing over the fact that you and her are toking behind my back. I guess i am the petty girl here huh? I have decided to stop thinking about the matter and hope you do understand what i was trying to say. Let me apologise to you for being a conservative woman. I grew up in a conservative society. I have my conservative morals and issues. I still do think, keeping a physical distance is inevitable. This is not like you are single, where you can do and be physically close to any girl you want. You do have a girlfriend. And i would want to apologise again that i am sorry to say that your girlfriend happen to be the petty and oh-so-conservative me. And if you should understand, you should respect the fact that i am your girlfriend and i do have things that i do like to see when its presented infront of my face. Let i say, maybe i should go take a photo with a guy, stick face to face with him and snap! And if you like the idea of it. I have nothing to say. And if you feel nothing when you see it then i have nothing to say. In fact i do not think i am very conservative. I am considered very open already. I just don't like to see that physical compound being violated. There is a certain degree of closeness you share with the one you love, and with your friends. It is different.
Probably morals and values are different. If this ain't working out, think its time for some talking work to be done and some things to reconsider. Come to think for the fact that you talk about me and it make you seems like you have gotten yourself into some deep shit and you have no choice but to humour this shit becos you have chosen this shit. I don't like the idea. If its difficult, we can talk about it. I am easy.
1:10 am
