Monday, May 16, 2005
Was that entry particularly directed at me? i felt it was though. But i was really angry. Maybe i was harsh. Let me apologise for it. Sorry. But i was really upset. When i saw those sms. I arrange it with you so long ago. And i felt i am no longer important to you already. DOes it mean that when u have a special someone, all the rest of your friends are not important already? I dun think so. I still make apoint to spend time with every single one of my friends every week. Plus, that appointment was a different one. Not the usual hangout thingy. It does hurt alot thinking about it. That's why i never like when pple tells me, "you have xr to acc you mah." the point is, i wanted to spend time with everyone. That's why i was very dishearten everytime u all cancel a meeting.
Learnt something from pst phil. Have a heart that is willing. Maybe i am not willing enough. Serve everyone with a open heart. Happy and willing. Even if it seems pple are making use of me. I never will know maybe what i was doing might trigger a major event that might happen due to the certain thing i do with a willing heart. Like the rachel in the bible. Becos of her wilingness, she was made the candidate for issac. Cool.
Alot of things have been going on. Stress, project cant finish, school starting. Not that i dun have friends, not that i have friends leaving me. If you want to...i can't stop you. But there is a group of friends i have made the choice to leave them for good. Values different, why stay on?
I need pple who understand me. Who won't forsake me when i need them. Who won't just think that i have xr is good enough. Becos everyone is equally as important. The difference between my friends and xr is..that xr can come into a intimate terms with me.
I need to refresh myself. Destress before i let stress pile up on me again. refresh so that i won't cut anyone's leg when they step on my toes.
2:33 pm
