Tuesday, November 23, 2004
I Need to get back to my normal Bio-clock system!!! I thought i have finally changed back my clock cos i slept at 9pm yesterday night and woke up at around 10am today. Though it was pretty long sleep, but i woke up here and there during the night to visit the toilet. But the hours are still considered healthy. Then today, the clever me decided to changed my blogskin, and i tell myself that i have things to update. But now....is already like 4am!!!! Wasted my efforts sia.
Anyway, i quite like this current blogskin. Hahaha.
I have lots to update. But i am so tired now, and am lazy to do it. All i can say is that i have finally made that decision after so long..almost a year. I am so tired already. Tired of being the strong ger that i have always be. I wanna surrender and tell everyone that i cannot take it anymore. I want to rest. I did.
Irene say that i might lose some of my friends. I shall see...if the friendships will still be in existance due to my decision.
But i must say that my decision is not permenant. I just need a while. How long is awhile. I am not sure.
I just need to say that my decision has got nothing to do with xianrong. My relationship with him has never been an issue actually. Those who knew what was going on, thought it was due to him. Only irene understands. She was the only one who knew exactly why i made that decision. Not bad for someone i knew all my life. I am very glad. And i know this is one friend that i can depend on, for the rest of my life no matter where am i. I treasure and love this friendship. Thanks alot!!!
She asked me if i was hurt. The answer is yes. I was. Hurt and dissappointed. And i have been trying my best to overcome it for the past one year. I am tired. My breakthrough never come. I am disappointed with myself the most at this point. *shakes Head* i am too much of a failure eh?? no wonder i have to repeat maths for so many times. Just purely dumb some might say.
Sleepy, tired. I want to sleep.
3:53 am
