Monday, November 01, 2004
The weather has been very bad recently. Especially these few days. When it rains, it REALLY rains, and when its not, it feels that Hou Yi didn't do his job at all and the 10 suns are still up there burned veryone with its sorching heat. I couldn't help but kept thinking of dada, cos mel told me i better pray hard for dada cos this few weeks are the worst field camp his OC has ever conducted. And is getting to me that i keep asking my study mates weird questions.
Someone told me today that hardships are inevitable in army. Is like 2years out of ur whole life is taken out to suffer. I took it in that way though. But it does impact me alittle.
In the past, i used to know, and i do know that army is tough. Very tough. But i only know them in my head. I don't actually know what hardship was. What is call TOUGH. Everyone says is tough, so i say is tough. And i never really knew till dada went into army. Till the day i saw dada cried and till the day when mel came back and told me all about his field camp.
I could actually feel the pain when both of them are sharing what they went through during the week. How mel felt like his feet was tearing apart due to muddy walks in the forest and the heat rash that he experience due to the heat of the sun. I couldn't contact dada, i suddenly wanted to call dada right away to ask him how is he only to realise that he is nowhere contactable and i am left wondering here.
I have always asked God why He place me at where i am today. I always feel like i am deprived of female companionship. I face guys, get surrounded by guys 7days a week, my classmates are all guys of cos there are females, those 1 or 2, and my cg consists of all guys with just a mere 6 females. Gosh! is never fun to hang out with guys 7 days aweek. That explains why i always get so excited when there is female companion around.
But i do realise now, why i am at where i am. Cos i never knew what men really are. I always think that men are created to protect women, pamper women, help women take things, help women buy food, buy women gifts etc. But i do realise that God created Eve to be a companion to Adam. To lighten his burden of having to look after the garden of eden. Of cos, Adam is the in-charge. Eve only exist to be a good companion to Adam. Of cos, that doesn't mean that men don't have to love women and pamper them anymore. There must be a BALANCE.
Sisters in church esp, in CHC, pst especially looks after the sisters. And brothers in church are "train" to help sisters take things, open doors, buy food etc. And i do know of sisters who would get angry if the brother didn't rise up to that expectation.
Of cos, I am not saying that men should now stopped doing anything. But i just do think that we should stop taking the brothers for granted. I learn to stop taking the brothers for granted. I do not expect anymore that they must open the door for me or help me take my things. Becos it is not as if i can't handle. Of cos, if it is heavy, i would ask for help. But i would not get angry or upset if they don't.
I was so touched when my cg guys wanted to cook us lunch after cg. I mean, i felt like we should be the one doing it. They have such a tough week in camp and finally when they could get to enjoy themselves, they want to cook for us. I was so touched. Really am.
Now i learn to appreciate them more. Help them if there is anyway that i could. To think about the amount of strength, engergy, brain power, determination and courage to go through army. No wonder you are man and i am not.
So now, i do try to help dada as and when if i could. Of cos, i dun turn around and become his "Maria" but i help him out alittle. If he needed rest, i will do the work. And i so think that sometimes, we woman should pamper our man just as how they pamper us. Whether is between couples or friends.
I salute you, all those men who have pulled through and those that are going through army. Those that has arose to become real man in life.
(p.s: and i shall love my dear dear more.)
10:07 pm
